LIFE VIEWED HORIZONTALLY

I hate being sick. I know that the times I get REALLY sick (like now) my body is sending me a very strong message. My fifth day in bed. But sometimes you just have to surrender to the reality of what is instead of raging against it. It seems I am not as healthy as I think I am, because this flu just ain’t shifting. It has been a great exercise in patience and I have spent a lot of time lying, looking out the window watching the changing light as the hours pass. The vervet monkeys racing across the lawn for the trees, squabbling and playing, dogs snoozing in the winter sun. The four cats gravitate towards the bed, although I am sure that is more for the hot water bottle than it is for me. It is now that you really appreciate your health. When you don’t have it. I try and imagine what it must be like to have a chronic, ongoing illness. When every day is a struggle against pain, when every movement is an effort, when you live with the fear that this vehicle that carries you through life may let you down and fail. My own illness seems to pale into comparison when I think of that. I am fascinated at the body’s ability to produce mucus, it is never-ending. If I could produce money like this I would be a millionaire! 5 days in bed. I wonder where I would be if I had insisted on dragging myself around, as so many of us seem to do, sneezing and coughing over all and sundry, sighing and wheezing. What is it in us that makes us keep on going when the body is shouting out “STOP”! I learnt a long time ago not to ignore what my body wants. A lengthy illness like this means time to relook at the way I am living, where I am doing too much, what I need to let go of or change. Yup, life viewed horizontally for a while, when you are not in the mainstream flow of “doing” can be an interesting experience. You have time to think, sleep and “be” in the moment. There always is a reason for everything.

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